I had to finish Christmas shopping, wrap all the presents (and organize them in such a way that they would fit in our little car with everything else we would need for a 10 day trip), bake cookies, prepare for a Christmas party, all on top of all the normal life things of laundry, preschool, meal preparation, cleaning and maybe working out (I better be working out with all those cookies, right???)
The funny thing about all this is that you get to Christmas, take a deep breath, and think you can finally relax right? But everyone else has gone through the same frenzy and so every immediate and extended stressed-out family member you have comes out of the woodwork to enjoy a "peaceful and joyful" Christmas together and kaboom! Someone says something awkward 'cause their tired and down on their game and you can kiss those visions of sugarplum fairies in your head goodbye!
But at least there's all those presents you put careful thought into for each niece, nephew, son, daughter, etc. and wrapped while imagining them gleefully open and become completely enthralled with because they love the gift so much (but not so much that they forget to run over to you grateful and give you the biggest hug because you're the best aunt/uncle/ mother/father EVER.) In reality, you try to play it cool when the area around the tree explodes in wrapping paper with children tearing apart their presents with no knowledge of who got them what and that beautiful scarf you hand crocheted gets tossed behind the couch never to be handled again. That is, until you sneak it into the child's black garbage bag of toys to go home, hoping it makes it back out.(They'll enjoy it later I'm sure...)
Ah yes, Christmas.
But Christmas, for so many, is not even this sweet. For those who will miss the presence of a loved one because the Lord called them home that year, it's painful. For some the year has been brutal, and they have suffered more than their share of life's beatings. And still others arrive weary at Christmas carrying sorrow and concern as they watch the global community struggle. Christmas in these situations does not bring hope and joy but heaps salt into wounds you would rather forget. (It's like being around that perky friend when you're grouchy!)
Suffering is nothing new to Jesus. I was reminded this year about the circumstances under which Christ the Lord God almighty was born. The book of Matthew in the Bible recounts the story. Chapter 1:18-19 says,
"This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly."
Ok. Hold up one minute. Can you imagine if this was the story of your birth?? Your Auntie tells you like it is, "Your mom and dad just finished saying their vows and it came out that your mom was pregnant with you, but they had never, you know, and your dad was about to divorce her." It sounds like a good juicy bit of gossip more than the story of the gospel, right?
We know though that Mary was not unfaithful but that she conceived Jesus through the Holy Spirit. It was a, miracle. But to the rest of the world, this baby's life was having a rocky start. Joseph did not divorce her after all, as an angel let him in on the secret about what was really going on: Mary would give birth to the Savior of the world. I imagine their marriage was a little stressful with this kind of start. A few months later, life would throw them another curve ball. The government decided it would be "fun" to count everyone in the entire Roman world...*insert eye roll here.
So Joseph and pregnant Mary (who I'm sure was not stoked about a roadtrip) packed up their cooler and headed to Bethlehem. I know things were different then in transportation, cultural mindsets, etc. But not much changes about the misery of pregnancy. I feel for her here. You know she's hanging on to God's grace because she knows the timeline of this thing: how long it takes to get to Bethlehem and at least an approximation of how long it will be before the timer goes off on the baby she's cooking. Imagine her frustration when they get to town and there is NO ROOM IN THE INN??? I don't care how righteous she was, you know she was a little grumpy about that. Talk about a let down in expectations for this special event! I think you know what takes place next so let me skip ahead to something that was brought to my attention this year.
Suffering hurts the most when we are trying to be faithful only to find painful circumstances out of our control.
The king at that time, Herod, was all beside himself about what he heard from the Magi, who let it slip while they were having dinner that they were looking for the "King of the Jews" who had just been born. Herod, worried about being usurped by a baby boy, slyly asked the Magi to bring word about where this King was "so he could worship him too" (if killing is worship, I guess.) Well, the Magi didn't do that and Herod, in a maniacal terror "gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under" (Matthew 2:16). An angel warned Joseph in the middle of night to run, basically. And that's what they did. Stealing away in the night to safety they fled to Egypt, refugees from a land soon to be covered in the blood of children and the tears of their mothers (at least that's what it says in Matthew 2:13-18).
Suffering hurts the most when we are trying to be faithful only to find painful circumstances out of our control. That's what I see in the birth of Jesus. Poor Joseph and Mary and all those parents who lost their babies that night...How could they know that their suffering was a part of plan greater than any in the entire world? That their suffering would bring about their very redemption? A favorite Christmas song of mine says when Jesus was born, "The world didn't know that redemption was so sweet and so strong."
Did it ever occur to you at Christmas that Jesus was born to suffer? That his life would ultimately culminate in suffering and death for our salvation, for our hope?
Paul the Apostle said that he wants to "know Him (Jesus) and the power of His resurrection AND the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings" (Phillipians 3:10). What does it mean to fellowship with Christ in His sufferings and why would you WANT to?? Surely, we want to experience resurrection, renewal, refreshment in our lives, but suffering? Nobody asks for that. Reading the previous lines before this verse would show that this believer is only interested in knowing Christ and that any other gain he has (financial stability, superb education, a lovely family, a comfortable and safe life, a perfect Christmas....) is garbage compared to the "surpassing greatness of knowing Christ." He would in fact give all of that up to have a relationship with the living God! (curious...)
And he is totally OK with sharing in Christ's suffering (which if I can remind you, was brutal- thorns driven into his scalp, his body ripped to shreds by a whip embellished with rocks and glass, made to carry his own cross, only to be hung on it by his hands and feet.) Why would you want to know that kind of suffering?
We don't rejoice in suffering because it's fun and it should not be some act of disingenuous happiness in the midst of our pain. Rather it is the hope that quietly sneaks into our hearts as we lay weeping at Christ's feet, knowing that good is coming through it.
Because suffering draws us closer to the Lord, in whom our hope grows. Because suffering produces perserverance, and perserverance produces character, and character produces hope. And hope as Romans 5 says "does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured out into our hearts..."
Our suffering is purposeful not for changing this life, but because it draws us closer to Christ, a relationship worth all the cookies. This year I knew loss. Tearfully, painfully, I can say I know Christ more because of it. Look back on this year. What suffering was heaped upon your life? What suffering did you witness? Did you push God away, "dealing" with it on your own, justifying it by your own reasoning? Or did you allow suffering to move you into a closer huddle with the living God?
We don't rejoice in suffering because it's fun and it should not be some act of disingenuous happiness in the midst of our pain. Rather it is the hope that quietly sneaks into our hearts as we lay weeping at Christ's feet, knowing that good is coming through it- a stronger walk with Christ that culminates in life in eternity with Him- resurrection from the dead, that we rejoice greatly over!
Jesus is our hope who illuminates what probably feels like a very dark life sometimes and that light guides us to peace.
The story of Christmas is about suffering and redemption just as much as Easter is. In his death and in our sufferings there is hope in the resurrection, a conquering. A man whose wife, much older, was having her first baby around the time of the birth of Jesus (you might recall, her name was Elizabeth?) wrote a song that said, "because of the tender mercy of our God" we would know the forgiveness of our sins through Jesus and he would be the rising sun "to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace." (Luke 1:76-79)
Jesus is our hope who illuminates what probably feels like a very dark life sometimes and that light guides us to peace. If you are limping into Christmas this year, wondering where God was at in all the suffering you felt or witnessed, remember that there is redemption in the midst. God came into our hurting world, and felt the kind of suffering you are feeling, you can rest assured you are in the company of God himself. But also because God did so we have hope in an eternal resurrection where there will be no pain, and no loss, because we will forever be with the one who gave up everything to know us. I'm praying as I write this that you will experience his peace in the midst of your struggle, and that this Christmas will come to you, not just as something to get through, but something to rejoice in. Your Savior has not only been born, but holds his arms out to embrace you as you weep.
Merry Christmas to you!