I sat behind our 100 year old farm house watching my dad dig a sewer line. His little girl was a constant companion, enamored by her daddy's work. I talked incessantly and when I wasn't talking, I was singing. But for a moment I went quiet staring at the dirt I was sitting in. Chunks of rock and hard dirt lay in front of me where a pretty little yellow dandelion sprung up though the pile. Behind me were, well, jaggers. Do you know what a 'jagger' is? (Googling it doesn't work, unless you want to gaze into Mick's eyes). It's the name I grew up calling thorn bushes. Anyways, jaggers covered my back yard. I grew up in the boonies, let me tell ya. My mind overflowed to my mouth and I began jabbering to my dad (who was probably enjoying the silence) about how there is good dirt and bad dirt. "And see that rocky dirt, where the flower is? That is bad dirt and that flower is going to die. And see those jaggers? That's bad dirt too. And see this smooth dirt I'm on? Seed can grow well here because it's good dirt. And that's just like how people are with Jesus, Dad." Now, I might have gotten some details amiss, but upon hearing this, my dad (prophetically?) told me I would grow up to be a preacher.
Jaggers?
My mom was a stickler about going to church (thank heavens!) and I learned a lot of sermons growing up. One of them was the parable of the sower. Jesus told the disciples about a farmer who was planting his crops. Some seed fell on the path where the birds ate it up. Some seed fell on rocky soil, where a plant quickly grew but died because it did not have good roots and the sun burned it up. Still other plants grew up in between the 'jaggers' but the thorns choked it out. And of course some seed made it to the rich, fertile (Iowan?) soil where it grew up and fed the world. (Matthew 13) Jesus had to explain what this all meant because the disciples were a bit dopey (like us). He said, "Whenever anyone hears the message..." about Christ there are 1 of 4 things that will happen:
Option A: They don't understand it and reject it.
Option B: They accept it enthusiastically but when hardships come, it doesn't last.
Option C: They accept it, grow in their relationship with Christ, but their focus is on this life and wealth (the jaggers!) instead of Christ and little comes of it.
Option D: They accept it, they grow in it, they share it, and many hear of Christ because of them.
Being the wife of a pastor and a minister of the Gospel in my own right, has taught me a lot about sacrificing myself for the good of others and for the forwarding of God's kingdom. I remember one sermon in which the pastor candidly divulged that sometimes people force him to "grow in grace." What you might not realize about your pastor is that he is constantly "growing in grace" for the sake of God's kingdom. Without giving away too much about our "secret society" here, he or she smiles when someone comments about how long the sermon was, takes it to heart when overhearing a criticism of the church, and prays through the anxiety of how much "bad seed" might be growing there. He or she sacrifices time with their own family to counsel others in crisis, forgoes financial stability to preach the Gospel, and thinks constantly about the needs of others and how they might communicate God's word powerfully and effectively on a regular basis. It's safe to say most aren't in ministry for the money or accolades. What a pastor does to further God's kingdom has illuminated what I now realize is a calling for all of us, a calling to live for God's purposes and not our own and likely at the sacrifice of ourselves.
"And He (Christ) died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for him who died for them and was raised again." (2 Corinthians 5:15) The whole of the Gospel is giving up of ourselves for Christ. In salvation, we trade our very being, who we are (sinful, marred creations) for something that is new, whole, and beautiful. We trade ourselves for Christ. In Matthew 10:38-39, Jesus tells us that we must take up our cross and follow Him, for whoever wants to find his life has to lose it. I think when you become a believer you come to a place where you realize your past life is not worth keeping anyway. You want to trade the pain, the suffering, and the evil you have found yourself steeped in for something better.
The problem is, as is the problem with seed among thorns, is that many of us believers are not living like we are new. We continue to live like everyone else, worried about the future, trying to get ahead financially, distracted by every possible distraction, wandering without focus and without the kingdom of heaven in mind. This trading in of ourselves should not just be a one time event, but rather a regular, daily, moment by moment occurrence. Taking up our cross and losing our life is about salvation, but it is also about sanctification (that funny word that means becoming more and more like Christ.) It requires choosing more of Christ and less of ourselves everyday. Like me, I wonder if you too get so distracted by living for yourself that you forget to make this choice?
Your life, believer, is about Christ and furthering his kingdom not your own.
From the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep, I bear a lot of burdens for myself. I think about what I want to accomplish today, how I look and what my next diet will be, my future, my career, how to make more money so I can buy that thing I want, how I can "fix" my child's behavior, my schedule, my safety, my happiness. And I make my decisions based on those things; based on myself. I confess, I even pray this way! It's a lie we that we've bought into because Jesus clearly does not talk about this relationship with him as a cake walk that's all about you. "Take up your cross." "Lose your life." "Those who live should no longer live for themselves." Your life, believer, is about Christ and furthering his kingdom not your own.
Making the decision daily to focus on our mission in Christ will compel us to live lives bearing burdens for the sake of God's kingdom rather than for the sake of ourselves. 2 Corinthians 5 says that we ALL have been given the ministry of "reconciliation," that is, telling others the hope of how Christ died and was raised again. The hope of Christ does not stop with YOU. In salvation, you surrender who you are to God's transformation. In sanctification, you surrender your life daily that the Gospel may be proclaimed and that is the mission of Christ.
With our focus on God and sharing his hope with others, something else happens. We learn to grow in grace with one another.
I think if all believers were to live decisively with furthering the Gospel in mind, we would see more sacrificial living on behalf of others. Not more tithe or more time spent in the pew or Bible study. No, we would see as John the Baptist says, "fruit in keeping with repentance...The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." (Luke 3) We are to live to share God's goodness with others. Share the hope of salvation AND care for physical needs. Certainly isn't the only place scripture tells us that (see: Lamentations 19:34, Isaiah 1 and 58, Micah 6:8, Matthew 5:13, 22:39, 23:7, Acts 8, just to name a few.)
With our focus on God and sharing his hope with others, something else happens. We learn to grow in grace with one another. Our bickering and selfish motives fall to the wayside as we seek to maintain unity for the sake of God's kingdom. Isaiah 58 clearly offers caring for the poor and needy as a cure for "quarreling" (vs. 4,6-7). That same passage calls us out of religious repetition of just playing church into something greater: walking away from solely nourishing ourselves, in order that we might move into hard places to feed, clothe, shelter, and free others. And it tells us that when we do, we find deep healing, a worthwhile reputation with God's direction and protection, and his quick reply to our calls. (Go on and read it! Verse 8) Furthermore, Isaiah describes these type of people as being like a well watered garden, like an ever flowing stream! (Vs. 11)
Oddly enough, our spiritual wholeness comes in a giving up of ourselves for Christ and others. I wonder if that is in part what Christ meant in saying "whoever wants to find his life must lose it." So let's turn our eyes outward. Out of ourselves, out of our churches, and onto Christ and others in our communities, and our world. Let's not be too busy with everything else but God's mission, because a focus on ourselves gives us the exact opposite of what we desire: a tormented life among the jaggers rather than a continually refreshed oasis. And let's live more and more like Christ who gave everything of himself for others, for us, for me. Thank you Jesus!