Prince or Pauper?

A happy toddler plays with her kitchenette. She makes soup out of a fake lemon, a rock and a hair clip. I don't know what kind of soup this is going to be, but she is entirely content. Meanwhile, a helpless 7 month old is exploring the living room floor, eyes wide, flitting back and forth at the toys around her.  She reaches for a baby doll left behind long ago and the toddler's head jerks up like an invisible alarm went off. "I neeeeeed that!" explodes out of her mouth as she dives for the doll, ripping it from her sister's hands. This has become a common occurrence in our household. As I scold Adelaide for her behavior, I wonder, "Now where did she learn THAT from? Why is she content until she sees what her sister has and then what she had is no longer good enough for her?

As peace returns to our playtime, I continue to browse the "web." On instagram, 'wow look at that beautiful picture of Bora Bora. Ooooh, and look at Venice! Someday, we'll save up enough to travel the world.' On pinterest, I search ideas for re-decorating our home. 'I want to paint this and that, and oh, we need new curtains...' Then I look at my closet and realize I must look like a pauper in my boots I've been wearing for 2 years, and I search spring clothing trends on Google.  "I am so out of touch with fashion! I need a whole new wardrobe.'  I realize how much time I've spent on the internet and panic 'cause dinner needs made and there is "nothing" in the house to eat. UGH! I wish I had someone else's life where I could afford luxurious trips and beautiful clothes and... "I NEEEEED that!"

Only perspective gained through God's grace can transform our hearts so we no longer desire what we do not need.

Uh oh. Looks like Mama needs a time out. I wish I could say we grow out of our two year old compulsions but you don't. It just gets worse and you get better at hiding the ugly truth that we humans are greedy and prone to compare and simply want what we do not have, even if we have a lot. This is probably because because you cannot 'grow' out of greed, comparison, and the desire to put things before people. Only perspective gained through God's grace can transform our hearts so we no longer desire what we do not need.

Years ago on my first mission trip to Matamoros, Mexico, I encountered poverty like I had never seen. Though I grew up in a old farmhouse with holes in the walls and little critters that came in often, I returned from that trip feeling ashamed that I was embarrassed by my home. I gained perspective seeing a family of five living in a "house" the size of my bedroom and kids that weren't in school because there was no way they could afford it. It changed me. I felt like a prince (or a princess I guess).

And though I have seen that kind of poverty several more times since then, I still cry in my heart, "I NEEEED that!" And to be honest, it breaks my heart, mostly because I cannot seem to get a hold of this greedy monster inside of me!

The man stared across the street, he was dressed to the nines. His chaffeur had pulled up in front of a crowd of men. His whole life he had done right by all. When his peers got caught up in corrupt businesses practices, fraud and even worse, threatening and murdering their way to the top, he stayed true to what he was taught as a child. He was a believer, a good kid, unblemished by the wealthy life he was living. Still something felt like it was missing and it was eating away at him! He flew out of his vehicle and headed toward the crowd. He had heard about the man in the middle, a wise man; a good man. Pushing his way through the smelly crowd he fell to his knees in desperation, without care that it would stain his expensive clothes. "Good teacher!! What must I do to have eternal life?!" Jesus turned and looked down at the man by his feet, a man he knew before the dawn of time, a man he created. 'You know what your religion teaches you- Don't lie, cheat, murder, hurt others, and respect your parents.' The man replied, "I've always done those things." Seeing the thirst for more in his eyes, Jesus looked at him with compassion and love, 'Go, sell everything you own and give it to the poor. Then follow me.' The hope and expectation shattered in the man's heart and he went away in even more anguish because he was so rich.

As soon as I begin to feel anguish over my 'things' or lack therof, I have placed my possessions above my relationship with Christ.

Anthropologically speaking it is natural for humans to have a deep connection with their possessions as well as use those possessions as status markers. The problem with this is that possessions should not be our identity markers. Christ should be where we rest our identity. And as soon as I begin to feel anguish over my 'things' or lack therof, I have placed my possessions above my relationship with Christ. My things then beome an idol. And I have not then, like the rich young ruler above, kept all the commandments. In fact, I have broken the most important one, loving the Lord God with everything in me. My love of things cannot and should not come between me and God, but just like the man in the story, it is incredibly challenging to lay my wants down to follow Christ. I think about these things as we prepare for another perspective changing trip and praying God will help me overcome my two year old ways.