Not Just a Happy Birthday

"Now rid of the shackles, My victory's yours
I tore the veil for you to come close
There's no reason to stand at a distance anymore
You're not far from home"
- Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger

Today's a good reminder that none of us are ever far from home, here on earth or in eternity. God tore down the barrier between us and Hinself so that we might be close to Him, right now. A relationship with God absolutely means life with Him in Heaven after death. But He is also our peace and joy here now today. It is sometimes a fight to tap into it. No doubt sometimes we lose that fight. He stands there to pick us up and embrace us then, here on earth or in heaven. I'm jealous of my brother today, standing beside the father with others who didn't make it to this day, their birthday. Instead he is whole, unbound, with nothing between him and God Almighty. No pain, no tears, no rush, no stress. Reveling, awestruck by beauty, joyful, peaceful for all eternity. What a birthday gift!

Drinking Deep: An Awakening

Back in September, a family graciously allowed us to use their home in Colorado for a family respite. The first couple days we ooo'd and aww'd at the mountains jutting up into the sky and Kyle pawed through a hiking guide. I could see the wheels turning in his head about the third day in and that evening he announced that we would be taking a "hike." Cajoling me and his brother Derek (who I think was a harder sell), he light-heartedly described a 3 mile in and back hike to the top of the 12,000 foot Mount Buffalo, reading the description of some old cabin ruins we would pass, a boulder field and a mountain goat viewing from the top of the summit. Both myself and his brother (who I think was hesitant about his brother's adventurous schemes- he had been hiking with him his entire life after all and knew instinctively that Kyle's ambition usually overrode his practicality when it came to the outdoors) said yes. The picture he did not paint was that the "3 mile hike" was a nearly a 4,000 foot ascent over 3 miles (actually 5.5 miles out and back roughly) and that the boulder field was a 24% grade (so straight up basically.) We began to tease Kyle, who was bounding up this boulder field. We nicknamed him "Billie Goat Bartholic". Along the way, I also cried once or twice out of sheer terror (I'm not usually afraid of heights, but when you're climbing on a crumbling rock wall with NO HARNESS OR EQUIPMENT, it's enough to shake the bravest of us, ok?)  We were huffing and puffing so hard, we missed the cabin ruins entirely and I totally forgot to look for the darn mountain goats at the summit! The view was incredible though and if it weren't for the loud static of the wind whipping around me in the video I shot at the top you would think I was in a helicopter. Instead I was just standing on the tippy-top of a mountain. 

I noticed his lips were blue.

The thing about going up is that you have to go down and on that boulder field descending was just as scary if not more, especially because Kyle began to have "Deja Vu" and our once confident navigator began to stop frequently to get his bearings on our route. Safely at the tree line, I noticed his lips were blue. It was chilly up at the top and he was in shorts but my spidey sense told me something else was up. Thank goodness for WebMD and 3G! I quickly surmised that he had altitude sickness. The air gets thinner as you ascend to higher altitudes, meaning less oxygen to the brain (hence the blue lips and memory issues on the boulder field). I knew something was really wrong when he said he wasn't hungry after talking about a huge cheeseburger as a reward for summitting all the way up! Fatigued and woozy, I felt like Derek and I were coaxing him down the mountain. Getting to lower elevation (along with some IBProphen) was the only cure really, and it took us a little longer than it should have to come down out of the alpine forest. Thankfully at the bottom he started talking about food again and I knew he would be alright!

Two days later he wanted to ascend to Lake Chihuahua, a high alpine lake that puddled into a crystal clear, emerald pool at 12,000 feet... 

My photo, no filter!

Totally worth it as well... Could even say, heavenly. 

I used to think that I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to heaven. My naive heart could not fathom some place better than earth, than being with the loves of my life, watching my children grow up and my husband and I grow old together. I certainly wouldn't trade Lake Chihuahua for streets of gold. But that's not really what makes heaven appealing is it? (And it's not not going to hell that makes it appealing either right?)

Let's remember that this is the God that bridled the oceans, who gently places the dew on each blade of grass, who sprinkled the night sky with burning balls of gas...

I'm going to go somewhere crazy here: the book of Revelation (no, not Revelations- there is no such book as my husband and I laugh about, it's just one Revelation.) In a book filled with unfathomable visions of the end of time, chapter 22 verse 3 bleeding into 4 says that, "No longer will there be a curse upon anything. For the throne of God and of the Lamb will be there, and his servants will worship Him. And they will see His face..." Heaven is incredible because God is there. And if you think that's boring let's remember that this is the God who bridled the oceans, telling them to stay put, who gently places the dew on each blade of grass, who sprinkled the night sky with burning balls of gas (some in playful sketches that tell us whether we should expect snow or a summer breeze- the original "connect the dots!"), and who cares for each birthing mother of every species. Celebrity of celebrities is way too underwhelming of a description of who God is or the power He possesses. A "quick" read through Job 38-41, a mere 129 verses briefs us on the awesomeness of God. Chapter 37 of Job says, "The Almighty is beyond our reach and exalted in power; in His Justice and great righteousness, he does not oppress." 

Add to it that God thinks constantly about us too, and loves us, can't wait to be with us, and that is someone I really want to meet! Face to face! Heaven is starting to look pretty good. (Not to mention that something tells me if God can impress us here on earth, He's got something way cooler than either pearly gates or Mount Buffalo!)

Young Oceans wrote a creatively powerful song called 'Great is our God' and the lyrics woke me up!

Lord of all nations,

We will stand at the end of our days

In your courts and declare your great ways

In spirit and truth

We long for your kingdom

Bring your thunder 

And gather the earth

All who tremble will tell of your worth

Lord our God!

I am in a new place (and no, not just in Iowa) thinking about Heaven. This is a place where I no longer long to see everything that comes of my life on this earth. A place where my deepest desire is to be with God, to see His kingdom come. It's not because I fear the world and all of it's terror, and there is much that is frightful. It's because of Him. My. Great. God! My heart of hearts! Nothing, finally, nothing compares to his presence and nothing burns greater than my desire to behold Him in all of His incredible glory. I find myself longing like one who knows their time is soon up, but that's really not the case. I've just awakened to His awesomeness and deeply crave for him to "gather" His children. 

Juxtaposed to those thoughts are a wealth of pleas that He tarry. Compassion overwhelms my soul for those who don't know of His great love for them. Do you know how He longs for you to run into His extended arms, so that He may give you abundantly a life riddled with peace and joy, a life overrun with hope, a life bursting with His presence? 

Would you describe your life as "abundant?"

In somewhat of a confusing passage in scripture about sheep and shepherds and doors, Jesus lays before His audience (his followers-the disciples) a doozy of an idea. He says, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10) Would you describe your life as "abundant?" Abundant in joy, in love, in peace? If not, then I would invite you to come like Revelation 22:17 says, "Let anyone who is thirsty come. Let anyone who desires drink freely from the water of life." God is that water. He invites you drink deeply of Him, so that in Him you may have life and have it abundantly. 

A Testimony of God's Faithfulness

I wanted to get this entry to you two days ago... It seemed topically fitting to look back on the past year on New Year's Eve, but I have kids and I have come to the conclusion that means nothing happens exactly like you plan it and you're usually late to, well, everything. So Happy 2nd day of the New Year!

Here in Iowa, the snow seems to be coming in droves. A few months ago, we kept hearing that the Farmer's Almanac predicted 100 inches of snow this winter. Both Kyle and I were a little skeptical since the last couple of winters have been really cold but lacking snow. I think we are believers now! 

Which reminds me, you know what Christmas song I hate? "Baby it's cold outside." You know that one where the creepy guy can't take "no" for an answer and despite the shame she feels, the girl sticks around for 'a cigarette more'??? 

Yeah, that one. (Sorry for the judgmental tone- the song just seems super seedy to me!)

I'm pretty sure there are a billion versions of it (even one featuring Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog I think) and it's played incessantly at the mall (drives me nuts!) It's no wonder it's the song that comes to mind as I watch the snow fall outside ('Cause it's burned into my brain!) and think about how comforting it is to be inside, protected and warm. 

We rest in God's embrace while life happens. 

Ironically enough, that's also how I feel about the year as I look back on it. Not that it drives me nuts, but rather that feeling of comfort as we rest in God's embrace while life happens. 

Looking back, I can see God's faithfulness evident in our family, and in ministry. What do I mean by that exactly? His faithfulness? 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 describes how when we become believers God begins to work on us, changing who we are into His likeness. For example, God loves perfectly. As he changes us we begin to love others better more and more. Of course there is so much more to it than that. But the whole process is so mysterious and more complicated than I can pen! For who can know the mind of God and how He works exactly, right? (Romans 11:34 if you're interested.) What we do know about God is that He is committed to keeping the promise that He will complete us into the beautifully whole people He intended before painful sin marred us. He is faithful. 

And while this work is in progress we can see evidence of it happening in the good things in our lives (and sometimes, in the bad.) The Omaha Doorly Zoo in Nebraska (it's become an old stomping ground for us now) is doing a massive overhaul to create this incredible African Safari that is due for completion in summer 2016. When they first announced it two years ago when we were new to that zoo, it seemed like it would be forever before it was done! Then we started seeing evidence that stuff was happening- they closed off part of the zoo,  animals were moved, a building went up here or there, a train tour took us inside the new enclosures still under construction, the Giraffe enclosure was finished... It really looks like the zoo update will be complete this summer. God has promised that He will complete the good work He has begun and in the meantime, in ministry, Kyle and I try to keep our eyes open and hearts tuned in to the evidences of His faithfulness to do just that, not just in ourselves but also in others. 

We feel like we have seen God's faithfulness in one of the quieter season's of youth ministry this year-the summer. It was a blessing to have our first intern join Kyle in teaching and helping lead. The mentorship aspect of having an intern for him was also a joy, as they worked through the details of lesson preparation and ministry troubleshooting. We both really enjoy training others who are coming up in ministry and mentoring others in general.

For that reason, in the fall of 2014, when an opportunity to lead a Bible Study series that our pastor created based on his sermon series arose, we jumped at the chance to create a group for young adults and young married couples. Well, something about the details of who the group was for got eschewed on the announcement (nothing's an accident in God's plans though!) and we didn't end up with young couples at all. However, God definitely had in mind who he wanted in this group and three young women, who did not go to our church and did not know each other showed up. All three were teachers from two different schools. Then, somehow two other young women (also teachers, and from two more different schools) starting coming shortly after. There are small connecting threads in the story behind it all that these ladies have told me, but those threads are so God-ordained I have a hard time re-telling them in their proper order. Essentially, it blows my mind how this group somehow ended up at my house every other week to read God's word and pray for each other! Only God.

Now a year and a half later, we still meet and these women (who, having newly relocated themselves for their jobs, had no friends in the area) are all besties. We have done four Bible studies together, gone to a hockey game, eaten octopus, cried a lot (not because of the octopus!), prayed a lot (maybe because of the octopus!), and they have given me the opportunity to not only pour myself into their lives but also to cook for them twice a month! And I LOVE IT!! This has been God's faithfulness in my life because I am learning that though teenagers are not my forté, I love ministering to young adults. And though I might just be getting in the loop on that, God has a known it all along. 

Watching students grow in their love for others because of their love for God is definitely evidence that God is at work in their lives!

Meanwhile Kyle took a group of students on a trip to Kansas City to participate in the EFCA's Bridging Urban Mission Partnerships (BUMP). BUMP trips allow students to minister alongside other EFCA churches in Urban contexts, allowing them to cross cultural and socioeconomic boundaries without leaving the States. Kyle said he saw God's faithfulness in the student's response to this challenge. As they grew in understanding of the difficulties many face right in their back yard they responded in gentleness and kindness to the children and others they spent time with daily. Watching students grow in their love for others because of their love for God is definitely evidence that God is at work in their lives!

Finally, I have been humbled and honored by God's work in my life this year. Still adjusting to the life of a stay-at-home mom and all that that means, I, admittedly, struggled with purposefulness. Pouring your life into your children is no small task and it is wrought with meaningfulness- a labor that I believe is just as (if not more) worthwhile than any ministry position! And while God worked on my heart this year to realize that, it still ached for something more/different/else (not sure of the word exactly, but it ached for it.) I read in Lysa Terkherst's book, "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl" the following quote and it resounded so deeply with how I was feeling early this year,

"Do you feel a tug at your heart to live completely with God, but still uncertain about pursuing it? Why not ask God to reveal Himself to you in the coming days and confirm what He has for you? The adventure that follows just might blow you away."

My prayer that night was that God would direct my life and that I would be faithful to follow His leading. Weeks later, I had the opportunity to answer some questions on the topic of justice that would be used in a magazine called the EFCA Today. After answering the questions, the editor asked me if I would write a full article for the mag. So I did. And then I got to write another one. And then because of the first article I wrote, I got a call for another writing opportunity. And it was incredibly fulfilling to get to write! But what was even more incredible was that God took something that I have loved to do my whole life (and just left sitting like an old book on the shelf), and open the doors to use it. Now I feel like I am on this journey, like I know at least a piece of the direction I want to go in and that is evidence of God's faithfulness to complete the work He has started in me.

This coming year, we are going to try again for a young marrieds group (because we know there are some incredible couples/families in our church and community that we are dying to get to know!), I am going to pursue the writing thing and keep loving my sweet kiddos (and maybe plan a mission trip or two!) and Kyle has lots of God given opportunities too. He is helping with the EFCA Central District's 'Impact' conference, Winter Blast, and taking students to Challenge, another EFCA student conference. That being said, I don't know exactly what is in store for 2016. 

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps." (Proverbs 16:9) 

This past year has obviously been full of unexpected twists and turns. But through it all and through the coming months, God was and is and we can expect that He will be faithful, no matter what. May we focus our eyes on the evidences of that faithfulness as we march on into 2016.