For us, church starts at 10:45AM. We have finally convinced our children to stay in bed until 7AM (a great accomplishment since they used to wake anywhere between 4:30 and 6:30, much to their parents complete misery). I know some of my friends would still cringe at their current wake up time but honestly it's perfect really for getting out the door for church (which, again, starts at 10:45). It's enough time for both parents to get showered and dressed with allowance for 18 billion interruptions to quell arguments over who had that piece of paper first, help a child make several costume changes and give attention to a plethora of questions and impromptu musical performances. It's enough time for us to fight about eating breakfast, encourage the preschooler to remove a few accessories and convince the toddler that socks are a good idea when it's negative 5 outside. There are snacks to be made (to avoid meltdowns) and coats, hats, gloves, and scarves to don before we start loading in the van at 10. Yes, 10. No, it does not take 45 minutes to drive to our church. But there's the buckling of those safety contraptions in the car, the unbuckling (I swear we spend most of our lives messing around with those car seats...), de-robing after we get to our destination, dropping off at children's church with just enough time to find seats and watch the worship countdown on the screen (I have no idea why they only countdown from 30 seconds!) You know I'm not exaggerating here. In fact, some of you parents skipped reading most of that paragraph because you just would rather not relive it what has become such a common part of your life. (I didn't even enjoy writing it!)
What's worse is that that is a SMOOTH morning. I heard a parent one time say it took her 20 minutes to convince her child to get their shoes and socks on and 20 minutes before she lost her temper. I looked at her and said, 20 minutes?? I lose my temper after like, 5. Of course, any temper tantrum (theirs or yours) adds 15-20 minutes to the amount of time getting out the door (So one of those...and there, now you know why I'm late to church.) I hate to admit it, but I really like my children. Despite that, I do miss going somewhere and getting out the door in a reasonable amount of time. At their age, my children don't understand time (a type of bliss for them really). And though I understand that, I lose my patience frequently about how long they take and I get mad at God about the same thing.
It takes a lot for me to wrap my mind around God's view of time. He has, like my kids, a completely different perspective on the matter. Considering that he is the Alpha and Omega, a name scripture gives him in Revelation 1:8 and 21:6 he has a much bigger view of time. The Alpha and Omega are the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet. So when the Bible calls God this we interpret it to mean God is the beginning and end of all time. He was there when the world was created (Genesis 1:1) and will continue even after this earth is long gone (Revelation 21:1-3). And he is present throughout all the time in between. "The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good." Proverbs 15:3 says.
Whereas my children have no concept of time, God has a perfect and whole view of all of time. Both frustrate me because I'm somewhere in between running out of the stuff. I grow impatient and fearful, particularly when things start to go south and the burdens feel heavier than I think I can bear and my prayers seem to go unanswered for what feels like a long, well, time.
Lately, that seems to be the case. We have recently made some big decisions to follow God that have caused us some burdens (and don't get me wrong, lots of joy too!!) The post Jesus My Captain will fill you in on the details, but suffice it to say that last year we decided to have a baby and then moved and changed jobs a few months later. A move meant selling our house. A new job meant a change in health insurance. A new baby meant a bigger car and more medical bills. And despite my hands being cracked from all the hand washing I do, I have been sick with Bronchitis, a sinus infection, a bacterial infection, and the stomach flu in succession since November. It's been a rough couple of months and the time when the house sells, and I can open the windows in the spring to get rid of germs seems far off. I'm sure many of us are itching for that warm spring sun by this point actually.
As we pray, particularly for our house to sell, and much of our financial burden to be lifted, my husband peacefully recalled reading about God's provision recently when some professional fishermen went out fishing. All night they caught nothing. As the sun was just peeking over the horizon, Jesus called from the shore, "No fish last night? The fish are all on the right side of the boat. Throw your net there!" Out of desperation or complete faith, they did it and weren't even able to pull the net in because it was so full! They had to drag it behind the boat to the shore, where they sat and had breakfast with Jesus. That night though must have seemed so long! So long. A night where nothing happened, where their prayers didn't seem to yield anything. Yet how much more powerful must it have seemed when they caught the big load that only Jesus could see.
He is faithful, though the burden may remain.
I was thinking about another difficult time in our life when time was an issue and our burden felt great. We were trying to conceive our first child. It seemed like an easy process you know? *Insert winky face here. Truly we believed once we'd decided to have a baby it would be a month, maybe two before that little stick turned blue. But it didn't. I grew frustrated. We taught abstinence classes at public schools at the time and my heart would dim every time I heard of single 15 year old who had gotten pregnant. "Like, really God?" I would pray. A mentor of mine told me she waited 7 years for her first baby and prayed over me. I was encouraged by her resilience and faith in God (and secretly told Him there was no way I was strong enough for that). But my heart broke after a false positive and my best friend got pregnant (by surprise-no hard feelings now:-)). It seemed like we would never have a child. Now, that whole episode of my life lasted, are you ready for it? For 5 months. I look back on that and realize, without being too harsh on my younger self, that I was so naive on my view of time and slightly impatient. Thank goodness, my afore mentioned mentor was not impatient with me, as she had waited much, much longer. But my view of time and timing was and maybe still is askewed. But my faith and understanding is being stretched now when it comes to the topic.
Here's the thing. God is perfect. So any plans he makes for us are also perfect. And those plans include timing because if there is anyone with perfect timing we have already established that it is God. He does not make mistakes. Does his timing sometimes seem long to us? Yes. Do we carry burdens in the meantime? Yes. He gives us strength to carry the burdens though. And in this way, he provides. In this way, He is faithful, though the burden may remain.
His timing is perfect because he can see what we can't. 2 Kings 6 recalls how Elisha the prophet made an enemy with the King of Aram (who was attacking the Israelites) by warning the King of Israel of places of ambush. Enraged, the Aramean King went after Elisha with a strong force of chariots and horses that surrounded the city in pursuit of the prophet. Elisha wasn't worried. Instead he said to his trembling servant, "Don't be afraid, those who are with us are more than those who are with them." Then he prayed that his servant could see what he could. And then the servant looked around and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire that surround Elisha. An unseen angelic army sent to protect God's child. We need not be afraid or worried just because we cannot see how God is at work.
Have you ever waited while someone else prepared a meal for you? If you're used to doing the cooking this process can be excruciating. It seems like it takes forever! Pair this with delicious aromas that waft out of the kitchen or, if you're in a restaurant (that actually cooks its food from scratch) and you see other people get their food first, your stomach kind of takes over your brain right? You forget it actually takes time to prepare good food, you're hungry and all you want is food right now! (Thank goodness for dinner rolls.) In the meantime, the chef is running around hard at work on your behalf, even though you can't see it.
Any good thing I receive in addition to that work of love I view as God's mercy. Does he really need to give me anything else?
Our prayers in the long waits may seem to go unanswered but we have to remember that we lack God's view of time and his scope of understanding. We cannot always see the hard work and the battle that is ensuing in the unseen realms on our behalf. What we can rest assured in, however, is his goodness and care for us. We have to believe that God is fighting for us even when we cannot see what he can and do not understand the timing of our situations. What God did to ensure our salvation through Jesus' death on the cross is the most profound work of love for us. The thoughts that follow that one are two-fold. First, if he loved me enough to that, then why wouldn't he fight for me in the smaller things? Secondly, any good thing I receive in addition to that work of love I view as God's mercy. Does he really need to give me anything else? Because any good thing above and beyond that begins to look like icing on the cake.
So I pray, give me eyes to see how You are at work God in the waiting, when my view of time is askewed. In the meantime, let me trust in your goodness and let me thank you for mercies!
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